Since it has been three weeks since I last blogged, I don't even know where to begin! So much has happened in the past few weeks so I will try and remember it all to relay in this blog. I'm sorry I have waited so long since my last blog, I'm going to try from now on to stay on top of things and write a blog as soon as something exciting happens so that I know longer end up in this situation with a million stories to try and compile into one blog. But for now, I guess this one will be extra long.

I believe in my last blog, I wrote about our invitation to the President's house for dinner. Well the first three times the dinner was planned, the President called last minute to cancel. But finally about two weeks ago, we actually made it to the dinner! The last hour before the drivers came to start picking us up was madness because no one actually believed the dinner was going to happen! By 4 o'clock, however, we realized that he still had not cancelled and we should probably figure out something to wear. My cabin was complete madness with eight girls frantically trying to get ready for a dinner date with the President of Benin. The evening was a long one, but it was also lots of fun. Upon arriving we were ushered into a giant room where we were served drinks and were expected to simply mingle around for about an hour. Finally around 7 o'clock we were allowed to enter the dining hall, of course by this point we were all starving! In order to enter the dining room, everyone had to go through a security checkpoint which only served to delay the process even longer. The dining hall seemed to go on forever with dozens of tables beautifully decorated in white and orange. After everyone was seated, the President presented awards to the founder of Mercy Ships as well as to a few other key people. He presented long speeches which I'm sure were full of endless compliments to us all, however they were entirely in French, and while I am trying hard to become fluent in French, my brain could not handle attempting to translate throughout the entirety of his speech. Therefore, my mind just concentrated even harder on the hunger I was feeling. FINALLY around 9 o'clock, four hours after we typically eat dinner, the President opened up the buffet lines for us to enjoy some traditional African favorites. The dinner was quite delicious, finished by a dessert of fresh fruits. While we dined, several different dance troupes from every part of the country performed for us. Because my table was near the back, we could not see much of the performances, but the performers all walked past us so we were able to admire their exquisite costumes. Around 11 o'clock the first set of people returned to the ship. My friends and I were in the final group of people to return to the ship, arriving around midnight. It was a night to remember, as I probably will never again get the chance to dine at the house of the president of a country!

Last Saturday I returned to the prison again for the final time. Because our outreach in Benin is winding down, all of our work with programs here in Benin must also come to an end. As we walked into the women's section, I was surprised not to see my friend Charlotte waiting at the door as she typically did. Chelsea and I began to wander through all of the pathways and rooms in the womens section looking for dear Charlotte, but she was nowhere to be found. When we returned to the main area, we asked some of the women where Charlotte might be. Excitedly, they all began to exclaim "Elle sortie!! Elle sortie!! Elle retourne a sa maison!!" I immediately got excited, then realized Chelsea did not know what they were saying. I turned to her and, laughing with excitement, said "Charlotte went home!" Typically the women in the prison have no idea when they will get to go home. Most have never had a trial, and even if they are given a release date, they understand that it means nothing until they are actually released. I don't think Charlotte had any idea when she would be released, at least she never gave me and hint that she did. Instead, she just continually asked us to pray for her and sing with her. It was apparent that her singing brought joy and encouragement to all of the women in the prison in the several months that she was there. To see that she was finally able to return home filled me with so much joy and encouragement, I cannot even put it into words. I have been praying endlessly for this sweet girl since I first became friends with her 2 months ago. To see those prayers answered is so exciting, and I know that I will one day see her again in Glory, where she and I can again sing together, this time in the presence of the King of Kings.

The rest of the day Saturday I spent relaxing at the beach. On Sunday Chelsea and I went to an ice cream shop in Cotonou that has free WiFi. We were able to use Skype and watch Facebook videos, which are restricted on the ship as they slow down the internet connection immensely. It was so nice to be able to watch the videos Emma Claire and Isaiah have made, as well as some from friends. Up until now I have only been able to see that they exist and longingly wish to be able to watch them!

On Monday, Chelsea began working with me in the Sales Department! It is so much fun to have her working with me now! She will be working in Sales until we sail to Togo, where she will go back to OR sterilizing. Kaylee and I took over the task of training Chelsea, a task my manager does not particular like doing herself. I'm so excited to have Chelsea work with me over the next couple of months!

Thursday, as everyone knows, was Thanksgiving Day. This week was probably the hardest week on me, as I saw all of my friends Facebook status's change to things like "Back to St Louis!" or "with family for Thanksgiving!" or "seeing high school friends!" I began to realize how much I miss home and being with friends and family for the holidays. Even more, I realized how sad it was to be in a community full of other nationalities on a major American holiday. Lots of people on the ship did not even realize that it was an important day to Americans. Because we expected the day to be a less cheerful Thanksgiving than typical, my American friends and I decided to do what we could to make it more special. On Wednesday evening Chelsea and I prepared pumpkin muffins from a box mix that my mom sent me. On Thursday morning, she and I skipped breakfast so that we could sleep in. We then ate our breakfast of pumpkin muffins in our room, realized how much we missed being able to eat breakfast in our pajamas! As we ate we reminisced on past Thanksgivings and our family traditions. We also talked about the things we are most thankful for this year. Although this was the least traditional Thanksgiving I have ever had, and in some ways the saddest, I realized that this year I was more thankful than ever before! As she and I talked we continually thought of more and more things that we were grateful for. It is amazing to see how God has blessed us since coming to the Ship.

After our relaxing breakfast, we had to head off to work which was a less than enjoyable day. It was busy and stressful and the whole time I was thinking of how I missed my family. The work day seemed to drag on forever, but eventually it was over. Thursday evening, Kaylee and Bonny Jean both had to work through dinner, then after the community meeting Chelsea and I had to work for a bit. We decided to save our dinners so that we could have a big family style Thanksgiving meal together after we all finished work. During the community meeting, Michelle and Bonny Jean decorated a meeting room so that we could have our dinner in private. At 9 o'clock we were all finally free to eat. Once we got up to the room for dinner, all of the frustrations and homesickness of the day just disappeared. There were eight people total at our "family" dinner -- 5 Americans, and 3 non-Americans who we welcomed anyways. It was so fun to include our non-American friends in our event, teaching them our holiday traditions. Our dinner lasted almost 2 hours, as we kept telling stories and laughing till our bellies ached. Even though I missed my family terribly, it was definately a Thanksgiving I will remember forever.

At midnight, we rang in the beginning of the Christmas season by blaring "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" loudly through our room, as I set up our little Christmas corner. We are doing the best we can to decorate for Christmas given our limited decoration options. As most people now, I LOVE decorating for Christmas, and I am not about to let the fact that I am on a ship in Africa diminish my decorating. So far, our room is full of paper snowflakes, paper chains, and even a 3-d Christmas tree made out of cardboard and paper! We also play plenty of Christmas music in our room, trying to get us all in the Christmas spirit. Still, the fact that it is 90 degrees outside brings down the holiday cheer several notches. I am hoping that once we set sail and the weather cools off a bit, we will be able to feel more Christmasy, but for now we are doing the best that we can.

On Friday night, Chelsea and I had swimmer watch. Because it is so close to the time of the sail, throughout the evenings there are continually people on watch to make sure no one tries to sneak on board as a stowaway. From 2-3 am, Chelsea and I were on watch in the front half of the ship. We were outfitted in bright yellow vests and given a giant flashlight and whistle. We got to roam the bridge, a section of the ship that is typically off limits to crew. While we did not get the excitement of catching any people trying to sneak on board, we felt proud that we were able to play a part in protecting the ship.

Yesterday was Blackout Saturday, the day that all of the electricity is turned off on the Ship in order to do necessary work on the engine before we set sail. Since there were no lights or air conditioning, we were stronlgy encouraged to leave the ship for the whole day. In the morning I went with my friends Emma and Bonny Jean to the CEO Boys home, a home for boys that have been rescued from trafficking in Cotonou. The ship raised money to buy paint for the home and we are now helping them to repaint all of their walls. Different groups from the ship have been going for several weeks now, but this was the first time for the three of us. We started by chipping the old paint off of the walls. Originally, the plan was just to chip off loose pieces before adding primer, but the boys in the home decided to take it a few steps further and chip of every single bit of the old paint (of which there were several layers!). Because it was so hot outside we were dripping in sweat, then as we chipped at the paint, all of the tiny pieces would stick to our skin, covering us in different colors of paint chips. After we chipped off a whole wall of paint, we began to prime the walls. In the beginning, the teams were doing good thick coats of primer, being sure that every bit of wall was covered. This time, however, the people at the boys home had watered down the paint immensely in order to make it last longer. For this reason, the paint was runny and difficult to get on well. After the primer dried, we began to add the color. Like the primer, the color was very runny and difficult to paint. For this reason, the walls looked drippy and less than beautiful. It was so hard for me to leave with them looking the way they did as I felt we could have done so much better! But the people at the home were just thrilled that we were willing to come and help. I guess the awful drip marks all over the walls did not bother them, they were more worried that they had enough paint to cover all of the walls in the building.

After we were finished painting, we had to come back to the ship to rinse off all of the paint before heading to the pool. We took quick showers, which was quite difficult in total darkness! The three of us then headed to a nearby hotel where we met up with the rest of Emma's family and spent the afternoon swimming. We ate dinner at the hotel as well. The restaurant is outside on a little terrace overlooking the lake. We sat at the table and watched the beautiful sunset while waiting for our food. It was such a nice relaxing dinner, much needed after a long, tiring day. Once we returned to the ship I was completely exhausted and went to bed extremely early.

This week is going to be extremely busy as we are all now preparing for the sail. All surgeries are finished and every patient has returned home. This week the whole ship will be securing everything for the sail. In the sales department this requires reorganizing all of our store rooms, our container, and some things in the Ship Ship and Cafe. Please pray that the five of us in our department are able to keep up our energy throughout the week as we have to do all of the things we least enjoy.

Please also pray for the safety of the Ship as we prepare to sail in just over a week. There has been some pirate activity very close to us, and while we have no reason to worry that we are in danger, please still pray that the Lord protects us from and potential dangers. Please also pray that we have a safe sail without any complications. I also ask that you pray for my health and sanity throughout the sail, as I don't yet know if I am prone to seasickness! I am beginning to realize more and more how incredibly long 10 days is, and the thought of facing ten days of sickness with no escape is quite daunting. I am praying that I am on of the few that has no issue with seasickness and that I will be able to enjoy the entire sail.

Please also pray that I will be able to enjoy the holiday season without getting homesick. The ship does so much to make the Christmas season fun, but at the same time there is nothing like being home with family for the holidays. Thankfully my friends here have become like family and I know that we will make the best of the season, as we all are missing our families together.

So far this weekend has been very busy, but also very blessed. It is my first weekend since my trip to Ghana that I have not been sick, so it was SO nice to be able to get off of the ship and do something! Thursday and Friday were extremely busy days, as the October container FINALLY arrived about 3 weeks late. I spent all of Thursday afternoon carrying heavy boxes up and down flights of stairs, mostly in un-air conditioned areas of the ship. Then Friday was spent counting the new products and putting them out on the shelves. Of course all of the Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper fanatics on board were desperate to finally get some of their dearly missed sodas as soon as we got them loaded into the snack bar, so this kept us all extremely busy while running the register in the snack bar. When it FINALLY came time to close and let our brains have a little rest, we discovered that somehow the charges were entered into the computers incorrectly and we had to find the missing money. Needless to say, by 5 o'clock on Friday evening, I was more than ready for the weekend!

After a short brain break and a quick dinner, Michelle and I headed over to the hospitality center, where a couple of girls had asked if we could do makeovers. After digging through our makeup and through the box of left-behind goodies from departed roomates, we pulled together hand creams, nail polish, eye liners and shadows, mascara, blush, and some chapstick. We headed over to the center armed and ready for a mad rush. Immediately, all of the girls, and even a few little boys, got very excited! After making up a couple of girls, everyone wanted to do each other. One little boy in particular decided to do his own makeup, covering his face in blush and eye liner. He then requested that I help him with some mascara. He was extremely proud of the finished product and left the room with a giant smile, ready to show off his new look. Some of the young mothers decided to make up their babies, darkening their eyebrows with my eye pencil. The only problem with this, besides the fact that eye makeup is probably not the best thing for a baby's face, was that the eye pencil was a light blue color. Apparently this did not make a difference to anyone, and soon all the women were parading their blue eyebrows to anyone who cared to see. It is always so much fun to see how the faces of both the children and adults light up when they get some sort of special treat.

This morning I headed back to the prison, one of my favorite ways to spend my Saturday mornings. Because I haven't been feeling well, I hadn't gone to the prison in at least 3 weeks. I've missed seeing my friend Charlotte and anxiously anticipated our reunion. As soon as we opened the door to the women's section, she stood on the other side awaiting my arrival. I was so excited to see the joyful expression on her face when she saw that I had finally come back. The last time I was at the prison, Charlotte had Bonny Jean and I teach her the song "Glory Glory Hallelujah." This morning, as soon as I entered, she took my hand and had me start singing. I was shocked to discover that she had taught this song to several of the other women over the past few weeks and they too began to sing with us! Although Charlotte and I can hardly understand each other given the huge language barriers, it is amazing to see how our worshipping God together can create a trusting and loving friendship.

Charlotte introduced me to a friend of hers in the prison who was pregnant. Thankfully, her friend spoke French, so we were able to communicate decently well. She asked me to pray for her and her baby, that God would help her to be released from prison before her baby came. What she wants most is to deliver her baby in her own home, not in the confines of the prison. I never found out why she was put in prison or how long she had been there, so it is difficult to know how likely it is that her desire will be a possibility.

After praying together, the girls asked me to teach them another song in English. I had trouble thinking of an easy song to teach them but ended up singing a song we sing at New City. As I began singing, the girls faces lit up as they began to recognize the tune. They knew the same song in French! I had never heard the song in French, so it was so much fun for each of us to relearn the song in a different language. They decided to write the words out for me so that I would not forget them, and they had me write them out in English for them as well. They then decided to teach me another song in French. The song was a beautiful one, and they wrote down the lyrics of it for me, but unfortunately I cannot remember the tune at all. They girls signed the slip of paper with the song lyrics and placed it inside my Bible for safe keeping.

After the morning at prison, I came back to the ship for a quick lunch then headed back out to the market with a few friends. We went on a search for a particular vendor that a couple of our friends had stumbled upon. His whole booth is full of beautiful head scarves, sold for 200 cfa each...equivalent to 40 US cents. Once we arrived to the market, however, we realized that our chances of finding this vendor were very slim. The market consists of about 5 narrow aisles, each packed with vendors all along the row. Each aisle stretches out for nearly a mile, filled with shoes, clothes, jewelry, and purses, as well as hundreds of men who desperately want the Yovos to buy their wares. Walking down the narrow pathway, the men were grabbing at our arms and making loud kissing noises yelling "my beautiful sister, my pretty Yovo, come see my things and marry me." They started grabbing at our hands, checking for wedding rings. In the midst of throwing off unwanted lovers, we missed seeing all of the booths, likely missing the one booth that we were searching for. After over three hours in the market, we finally decided to give up and head back to the ship. By the time we finally finished our long, hot treck back to the dock, I was tired, dirty, sore, and sunburned, ready to spend a relaxing evening on the ship.

Tomorrow morning I plan to return to the hospitality center for church, followed by a lazy afternoon on ship, mentally preparing for the crazy week ahead. In the following week we have two seperate groups of guests staying on board the ship. These groups are sure to make the Ship Shop and Cafe busy for us this week. On top of that, on Tuesday night a big group from the Rotary are coming on board the ship and Thursday night the entire crew has been invited to the President's palace for dinner. This week is sure to be extremely busy for everyone on board, so please keep me and all of my friends in your prayers throughout the week!

Fondation Regard D'Amour

I love children. I have worked in a nursery, playing with hyper toddlers, calming screaming infants, and changing countless stinky diapers. I have taught swim lessons, dealing with obstinate three year olds. I have spent countless hours babysitting my own young brother and sister, helping out with the not-so-fun jobs such as potty training. While at times little kids can be exhausting, I have always found that the joy they bring far outweighs the frustration they cause. I love cuddling on the couch with my 5-year-old brother. I love holding babies in the church nursery. I love walking down the streets and waving at the children tied to their mother’s back with colorful strips of fabric as they smile and wave, yelling “Yovo! Yovo!” The joy on a child’s face always seems to radiate, leaving its mark on everyone around. Never did I think I would be at a place where the filth and frustration was so overwhelming that I could not even bring myself to hold a crying baby.

This afternoon, I had the opportunity to go to Fondation Regard D’Amour, a local orphanage. I told that we would simply be going in to play with the children while the workers had the opportunity to take a computer class. “How simple,” I thought, “this is just like my job back home. We will just sit around and play with the babies.” I was given the afternoon off of my work on the ship so that I could go with the small group to help out. On the drive there I was so excited, ready to play with little children. However, I soon realized that the situation was so much different than I had expected.

The children did not wear diapers, there were not enough available. All of them, even the infants, simply wore underwear and a t-shirt. Of course none of them were potty trained, so they would just wet their underpants whenever they needed to go. For this reason, they just did not wear any other pants. Even worse, after wetting themselves, nothing was done about the mess. There were a few wet towels scattered around the ground that we could use to soak up the puddle, but the underpants were not changed and nothing was disinfected. Their hands and toys would get in the mess, then they would put their hands and their toys in their mouths. The ground and the children all reaked of urine. It was so hot and humid in the room that the stench was magnified even more. They would wet their cribs, but the sheets were not changed. The few times the puddles were mopped up with a towel, nothing was done with the towel, it was simply left in the middle of the floor.

I stood in the center of the room in complete shock over the situation. I didn’t want to sit to play with the children, because that required sitting in the filth. But to pick up a baby would mean that I would be covered in their pee. It was so hard knowing that we could not come in and fix the situation. We could not come in with our Soft Scrub and sponges, diapers and wipes, and clean up all of the mess. Instead, we were expected to just come in and take care of the children in spite of the mess. But because of the mess, it was almost impossible to play with the kids.

On top of all of the mess, there were hardly any toys for the babies to play with, only a few stuffed animals and a broken Little Tykes car. They just crawled around on their own and entertained themselves. A few times I caught a few of the babies, all less than a year old, playing by themselves out on the deck, not a single person watching them. When a baby cried in his crib, no one went to his aid. After coming back to the ship, my roommate asked me if the children seemed happy. Sadly, as I thought about, I realized that not one of them really smiled or laughed throughout my time there. If you tickled them, they would giggle, but not with the joy of an innocent baby, rather with the strained laugh of a child who is experiencing a rare moment of happiness. The lack of joy in the building just darkened the already straining mood.

After two hours in the orphanage, I was so mentally drained that I could not bear to be there a moment longer. During the whole drive back to the ship, I just thought about the experience. I was in such shock that I could hardly even speak.

While we were discussing the orphanage, one of the other girls who went made an incredible observation. While we were in the orphanage, we could hardly stand to love on a child covered in such filth. But Jesus not only came down and loved on us in all our filth; He came onto our level and lived IN our filth to show us how much He loved us. I know that there is absolutely no way I could have such love for those infants to live in that filth with them, I could hardly even pick one of them up. To see such a tangible example of Christ’s love for us, and how much I fall short of possessing that sort of love, I am left in total awe. In some ways, I want to go back to the orphanage because I want to help those children, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to face the reality of the situation again in the near future.

What's the Good in Goodbye?

This is a question I asked myself several times near the end of the summer while saying my goodbyes to friends back home. After seeing the same people nearly every day for 4 years of high school, it was hard to imagine going nearly 8 months without seeing one of these familiar faces! But in the midst of the teary-eyed farewells, I knew that the good came from the new adventure I was to face and the new friends that awaited me on board the Africa Mercy. It did not occur to me at the time, however, that this entire year would be full of goodbyes as people are coming and going from the ship on a regular basis. Up until this point no one had left the ship that I was close to, so I had never really understood this painful aspect of ship life. This week, however, I had to say goodbye to several people I had grown close with over the past 2 months.

This week alone, I said goodbye to two roommates, two of my fellow swing dancers, and two Ghana trip-goers, along with a few other people I have gotten to know quite well. On Wednesday evening, my friends Hilary and Natalie Cupp returned back to the States. Arriving shortly after me, I got to know the sisters because we were all new together. I soon found out that they both loved to swing dance, an activity I picked up my senior year of high school. We would set up speakers in the dining hall and teach some guys how to partner. The activity caught on quickly and we soon had a large group of spectators and participants several evenings a week. Now that they have left, we hope to continue the dancing, but know that it won’t be the same. The evening Hilary and Natalie left, we decided that we were not saying an official “goodbye” because we are determined to see each other again next year.

On Friday evening two of my roommates, Dorothea Muller and Melanie Langley, returned home as well. Melanie was only on the ship for four weeks, but every time a cabinmate leaves, the whole atmosphere of the cabin changes. It is sad to help pack up a person you have lived with for even a short amount of time. Dorothea was on the ship for three months, so she has been here the entirety of my stay so far. Dorothea and I got close in the midst of our whole Possotome trip/disaster several weeks ago. Since then, I have joined the small group she leads on a weekly basis. It will be different now having someone else lead our group, but it was so cool on Friday evening to see the entire small group at the bottom of the gangway to wish Dorothea back home to Switzerland. While walking up the gangway, the girl who is going to lead the group from now on declared “For this weeks small group – we all fly to Switzerland!!” Thankfully, since this is of course impossible, we still have Facebook to help stay in contact.

Two people from our Ghana trip also returned home this week. Throughout our trip to Ghana, our whole group grew really close, despite the big age differences. In the weeks since the trip, it has been really cool to have good friends outside of our age group, our group had become like a big family to each other. To then watch a small piece of that family leave the ship is hard. Belinda returned home to South Africa on Friday morning. I did not realize the time that she was leaving and ended up having to wave farewell in the middle of my morning run. On Saturday evening Tillman left for Germany. The night before he had given a farewell piano performance attended by a large group on the ship, then Saturday evening we said our final goodbye.

After saying farewell to so many people this week, it has begun to hit me how hard it will be in mid-December when nearly 50% of the crew ends their service with Mercy Ships. As a person who hates goodbyes, I am not looking forward to this time in the least bit. I have heard that the entire atmosphere of the ship changes when there is a huge turnover of crew. While I’m sure the new atmosphere will probably be just as wonderful as it is now, it is sad to know that such a big change is coming so soon. I realize now more than ever that I need to appreciate every day I have with my friends that are here now because the next 6 weeks will just fly by before must say goodbye to all but a few of them.